Holding The Space

In any setting, there has to be someone to hold the space. There must be an intention, a direction. Posing a question is like casting an axis around which others can manifest an atmosphere of thought.

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The intention set by Steve was like a life-pulse. You know how our gravitational force holds all

matter to the surface of the earth? Well when the music stopped, or the conversation came to a dead end and there was no direction, it was as if the gravitational force ceased and all matter detached and floated into outer space. The space became like a dead and unresponsive corpse: the void that does not answer, the negative space within which every inquiry cast like a fishing line dissipates into nothing. And I realized in a new way the power of belief as a fertile force. The absence of such is like the cosmos with no synapses to make constellations. And it is within the constellations that a narrative lies- It is within constellations that stars fail to be individually isolated, or as a panorama, just an unintelligible splatter of paint. In their inter-relation with other cosmic entities, stars assume a pattern, a deliberance, a purpose. And I feel that I am but a cog in a machine of an assembly line of a great factory operated by a divine “ness”—that the human race are particles of a larger organism and purpose. Steve’s hold on the space was like an umbilical chord tying me back to life so that I would not fade away into nothingness. When I would turn into myself and the pulse would elude me, I would feel myself floating aimlessly in the melancholy and lifeless waters of directionlessness . There I felt bored and uninspired. I felt physically cold and uncomfortable…restless and sober. An intellect defeated by faltered faith… an intellect spent in vain. And it was in this revelation that I understood that I must marry someday- that I cannot create my own enterprise as an individual. Being alone would be like an electron trying to go around a semi-circle… I must bond with a counterpart to complete the circuit and regenerate life as I know it.

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