One time when I was on acid a friend of mine said the word “slut” in reference to a girl he was sleeping with and I lost it. I realized that in my heyday I would have been called a slut. And the vibration of that word rang through me crashing and clanging Continue reading
I got my first exposure to these types when I was in Boulder, Colorado two years ago. They say things like “that’s cool, man” and “peace” and “one love.” In Costa Rica it was “Pura Vida.” These are all good messages, but I suspect Continue reading
Despair is an aching, a longing. It is the hopeless longing of being thirsty in a desert. It is a pain that doubles back upon itself. A subtle nausea in the stomach or aching in the bones. Like restless leg syndrome. It is at the cellular level. It insists itself. And we wish it away, but can’t escape it. Like how you Continue reading
Stale out of college, it has been high time for too long now that I “leave the nest.” As I stand on its precipice about to take flight I find myself paralyzed with fear. For I know my personal standard- that I could not live with myself having attempted anything less than my full potential. And as my dream lies in a line of work so outrageous and foreign as shamanism, Continue reading
With my mind churning and those of my company soundly asleep, I walked into my living room seeking the solace of dim-lighting. “The incubator” I called it, for our living room had that effect of fostering creativity. Its other name was “the womb” which speaks to the same effect- with its “nutrient-rich” Continue reading
In retrospect, I realized an inherent problem with psychedelics. Although they were effective at waking me up, and making me starkly privy to my self-deception and to worldly corruptions, they do not provide an ever-open portal to these “truths.” I cannot call such insights truths because I do not have access to them all the time. I do not know them from first-hand Continue reading
In any setting, there has to be someone to hold the space. There must be an intention, a direction. Posing a question is like casting an axis around which others can manifest an atmosphere of thought.
The intention set by Steve was like a life-pulse. You know how our gravitational force holds all
“I do not wish women to have control over men; but over themselves” -Mary Shelley
I admire the wax sitting crusted in your ear and the old makeup curdled in the corner of your eye. I want to smell your stale breath that is cultivated from your intense sadness, or indulgence in fast-paced inspiration or reminisce. After long-drawn tears Continue reading
I work as a hostess in a restaurant. The other night as I was working I realized that the song that was playing was one that had played the night before, and even hours before. And it was repetitive to me, but it was new to the customers who aren’t here every night. Then I realized the “lifespan” of the restaurant. How all the elements of the interior decorating (the lighting, the music, the hum of voices, the smell of food, etc) and all other elements of “activity” contribute to give off the illusion of a pulsating life within this space.
I thought about Continue reading
Yesterday I stepped out of my cabin with my camera, with no inclination as to what I was going to do with my day. Many days here start this way, and I just wander around like bait until a fish bites me. And yesterday one did, a big one. And, pun unintended, Continue reading